I usually don't tell people that I'm an atheist. Instead, I'd say something vague or change the subject. It seems that most people think you're some sort of a monster (or a dumb kid) if you don't believe in God (at least if you live in a shithole country like me).

Lots of criminals actually exploit this bug and act like a "true believer" to gain people's trust, but that's not what I'm going to talk about in this post.

Almost a year ago, I graduated with a degree in software engineering and started working at a small company in my area. It has been a while since I spoke to or even saw any of my very few friends. Every day's been almost the same. 9 to 5 on repeat.

Now I get why some people believe in God despite knowing that he's unlikely to exist. We're alone in this world. We're conscious and stuck in a physical body. No matter how many friends or family members you have, you're still alone in your own mind. There's only one way to escape this prison: to believe that it's not true. After all, imagination is one of the things that sets us apart from other animals.

Unfortunately I'm not one of those people than can do this. I used to, but I can't lie to myself anymore. For a programmer's brain it's always either a 0 or a 1. It's not my fault that there is no God. I wish there was. I have so many things to say and so many complaints to make. I want a God even more than those who believe in it.